


This Is Just Another Night (and We've Had Many of Them)

by AnnyFay



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Singapore 2017, simi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 03:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnyFay/pseuds/AnnyFay
Summary: Kimi had such a good start. He saw the opportunity, the move that could put him on the podium with Seb just like they did in Hungary… a lifetime ago. Silly hopes, thoughtless acts.





	This Is Just Another Night (and We've Had Many of Them)

**Author's Note:**

> After last race I convinced myself the pain would only go away when I finished this.  
> Hope I'm able to soothe some sore hearts as well  
> Just to be clear: I do not hold anyone responsible for the incident. I strongly believe it was a racing accident and it's no one's fault, just a huge misfortune.
> 
> Lots of love <3

No further action.

This is what they announced in front of a raging Max, a somehow consternated Kimi and a frustrated Sebastian.

Kimi walks out of the meeting stumbling around, eyes fluttering in search for the German. One hand reaches his shoulder: "Seb?"

He turns around. Fireworks fill up the sky and Sebastian's eyes have never been so dark.

"Sorry, can we talk later?"

His attention shifts swiftly to a large screen showing the last cars passing through the chequered flag. One or two interviewers keep throwing exactly the same questions Sebastian has been hearing the whole night. He hisses at the flashes fired at his face. Kimi wants to snatch those cameras away from them. He has never wholly agreed with the publicity clause attached to being a racing driver.

 

Kimi is good at giving space. In fact, he struggles not to come across as frigid most of the times. Yet, he has too many thoughts going on in his mind and can’t stop fidgeting, running his fingers through his hair and biting the inside of his cheeks. He may have ruined his boyfriend’s entire season. He sure as hell ruined Ferrari’s chance of winning the constructor’s title – though they never stood a chance.

Kimi had such a good start. He saw the opportunity, the move that could put him on the podium with Seb just like they did in Hungary… a lifetime ago. Silly hopes, thoughtless acts.

Kimi knocks at the door of Sebastian’s hotel room. He does it a couple of times before the other answers.

“Who’s it?”

“It’s me.” Kimi shifts his weight uncomfortably. It feels as though the hallways’ walls are narrowing at each beat of his heart.

“Kimi, I… I can’t really talk right now, ok? I’m not angry with you, it’s just that…” His voice dies away. The Finn squeezes his eyes shut. “I mean, I _am_ angry, just not with anyone in particular. And I know for a fact if we have this conversation right now I might say some things that will upset you and this is the last thing I want.”

Kimi’s hand lingers on the closed door. He has no idea how to handle the constant ache in his chest. Seb must be feeling it as well, so it would be wise to be around in case he needs company. Besides, Kimi never spends the night in his own hotel room and would feel weird doing it then.

“Alright. I’m sorry.”

He steps back until his numb body is pressed against the wall, sliding down as he sits on the floor and stretches his legs out through the hallway’s entire width. It’s not restful, nor should it be. Kimi wants to be near, that’s all.

 

Someone taps him on the shoulder; his name has been repeated so many times it doesn’t even sound like a name anymore.

“Wake up, c’mon.” Sebastian is staring at Kimi as he opens his eyes. His back hurts to the point he can’t move a muscle, luckily he has no desire to move either. “Why are you still here?”

“I had to make sure everything was okay between us.”

The German pulls him into an awkward hug, slightly stroking the back of his head repeatedly.

“I’m sorry if I made it look otherwise. Everything is just fine.” Seb whispers. He pulls back from the embrace and holds Kimi’s face in his hands. “I should never have let it get in the way of our relationship.”

“But if only I hadn’t been there…”

“There are plenty of races to go. We’ll get back on our feet.”

Sebastian is so intricate. He can be temperamental and difficult to deal with, but he is also the most resilient and optimistic person Kimi has ever met. Somewhere among all of it, Seb also manages to silence his pain and inner conflicts when the Finn is around because he doesn’t want to be a burden, even though Kimi would never consider him as such.

That is why they go to bed and Seb focuses on comforting Kimi in his arms and kissing his lips as if their bond was unblemished. Sebastian likes to think they still have enough strength to go through hell together and survive.

That is a nice thought.


End file.
